Alright, buckle up, because we’re about to take a wild ride through the carnival funhouse of Don Lemon’s so-called “intellect”—a rickety rollercoaster of self-delusion so absurd it’d make a clown college reject blush! This former CNN anchor, this self-proclaimed titan of insight, strutted onto Bill Maher’s Club Random podcast like a peacock in a thrift-store tuxedo, only to unfurl a steaming pile of nonsense so ripe it could fertilize the Sahara. His latest gem? Declaring it “impossible” for a black Trump supporter to be “rational”—a statement so breathtakingly idiotic it’s like watching a blindfolded toddler try to solve a Rubik’s Cube with a sledgehammer!
But first, a few words from Dave Rubin
Let’s peel back the layers of this intellectual onion—each one more tear-inducing than the last. Don Lemon, the man who once gazed into CNN’s cameras with the gravitas of a discount Socrates, has spent years masquerading as a sage while juggling hot takes like a circus chimp on a unicycle. His broadcast history? A blooper reel of brain-dead blunders! Remember when he sanctimoniously scolded America about race, only to get canned by his own network faster than you can say “ratings dumpster fire”? Or how about his infamous drunken New Year’s Eve rants, slurring through champagne-soaked soliloquies that made viewers wonder if CNN had accidentally hired a karaoke lounge reject? This is a guy who’d trip over a shadow and blame systemic racism for the bruise!
And now, on Maher’s show, he’s reached peak Lemon—a sour, overripe fruit of absurdity. “I don’t think you can be black and be a rational MAGA person,” he pontificates as if he’s the gatekeeper of reason, perched atop a throne of expired logic. Oh, Don, you glorious buffoon! Did you borrow that take from a fortune cookie you found in a ditch? Here’s a man who thinks “rationality” is a VIP list, and he’s a bouncer, checking IDs with a crayon and a superiority complex! Meanwhile, black Trump supporters—combat vets, Ivy League grads, congressmen—must be scratching their heads, wondering how they missed the memo that Don Lemon, the human equivalent of a dial-up modem, gets to define their reality!
This isn’t commentary—it’s a tragic one-man improv show where the punchline’s always “duh.” He smirks at Maher, claiming black MAGA folks are just camera-chasing sellouts as if he didn’t spend a decade preening for CNN’s lens like a B-list diva auditioning for relevance. The hypocrisy’s so thick you could spread it on toast! Lemon’s not a thinker—he’s a walking soundbite generator, a malfunctioning Roomba bumping into furniture and calling it analysis. “The truth is often insulting,” he smirks, oblivious that the only insult here is his masquerade as a pundit. Truth? Don, you wouldn’t recognize the truth if it slapped you with a fact-check and called you “sir”!
This is a man so slow on the uptake he’d lose a race to a sloth on sedatives! His “insights” lumber out like a dial-tone dissertation, each syllable a plea for someone, anyone, to take him seriously. Your costume of genius is a threadbare Halloween getup—ripped, ridiculous, and fooling no one but the mirror you preen in front of.
So here’s the merciless truth, Don Lemon: you’re not a commentator, you’re a caricature—a bumbling jester in the court of cable news, tossing word-salad grenades that explode in your own face. Your appearance on Maher’s show isn’t a revelation; it’s a requiem for a mind that never was. Satire blushes at you, not because you’re clever, but because you’re the punchline that keeps on giving—proof that even a broken clock is right twice a day, but a broken pundit like you? Never once! Take a bow, Don—the comedy of errors you call a career deserves its curtain call!