When the Ex-Scientology member movement began in earnest…

Cyril Ronald Vosper (1934-2004) was an anti-cult leader, former Scientologist and later a critic of Scientology, deprogrammer, and spokesperson on men’s health. He wrote The Mind Benders, which was the first book on Scientology to be written by an ex-member, and the first critical book on Scientology to be published.

The Mind Benders, Scientology
by Cyril Vosper
(from the 1971 Neville Spearman edition, SBN 85435 061 6)

The author’s experience of Scientology stretches over a period of 14 years from when it was a little known and interesting form of psychotherapy, to September 1968 when he was declared an S.P. (Suppressive Person). This meant that he was considered ‘Fair Game’. As Sir Elwyn Jones Q.C. said in the recent Scientology libel case, S.Ps. ‘could be deprived of property or injured by any means by any Scientologist. He could be tricked, sued or lied to, or destroyed.’ The direct cause of this action was the breakdown of the author’s marriage and separation of his children.

Mr. Vosper, who was a senior official at the Scientology H.Q. at Saint Hill, East Grinstead, Sussex, believes that it is time for a close and accurate inspection of Scientology so that people know the full facts before they consider joining it.

This is less a book than a stick of dynamite. Never before has there been an inside report on Scientology. The public have, so far, only vague newspaper reports and rumours to put against the sophisticated propaganda of the Scientologists.

In Scientology, sometimes conveniently referred to as the Church of Scientology, the former science-fiction writer, L. Ron Hubbard has constructed a world-wide network of organisations in such a manner as ‘… to pull the society under us’. Meaning that his long-term goal is for the entirety of the human race to be controlled, albeit benevolently, by him and his followers.

Unlike other fads and eccentricities of the past, Scientology is not a purely comic subject that appeals to those who need some sort of belief. It is far more comprehensive and frequently harmful.

The lawsuit …Hubbard v Vosper, [1972]. Case documentation.


Hubbard v Vosper, [1972] 2 Q.B. 84, is a leading English copyright law case on the defence of fair dealing. The Church of Scientology sued a former member, Cyril Vosper, for copyright infringement due to the publication of a book, The Mind Benders, criticizing Scientology. The Church of Scientology alleged that the books contained material copied from books and documents written by L. Ron Hubbard, as well as containing confidential information pertaining to Scientology courses. Vosper successfully defended the claim under the fair dealing doctrine, with the Court of Appeal deciding unanimously in his favour.

Upon consideration of the evidence, Lord Denning found that the book was a fair dealing of the source material, rejecting the argument that Vosper was criticizing not the works per se, but was instead criticizing the underlying subject matter. He found that criticism of the book and criticism of the subject matter were indistinguishable, and that this would not in itself cause the fair dealing defence to fail.

Lord Megaw agreed, and added in his concurring judgment that it may be possible to invoke the fair dealing defence even if a substantial part or the entirety of the original work was reproduced, noting that the proportion of the work taken must be weighed against the nature and purpose of the reproduction.

Breach of confidence

The Court of Appeal rejected the argument that confidential information was unfairly used in Vosper’s book. Lord Denning noted that there was very little evidence pointing to the use of such confidential information, but that even if the information was used, there may be some circumstances such as these where the public interest may outweigh the confidentiality of the information.

A further attempt by the Church of Scientology to appeal the case to the House of Lords was dismissed on 9 February 1972.

Quote from XenuTV.com interview, November 19, 1997:

He told so many stories of his exploits, in South America, the West Indies and places, that he would have to have been at least 483 years old to have had enough time to have done all those things, but that doesn’t really matter. I mean, it was just very entertaining really, except that he turned it into a religion.

[Hubbard] probably always knew he was running a con. He must have known that much of the stuff he was talking about was a lot of rubbish. But I think that after a while, when he found there were thousands of people, with the adulation around the planet for this man, I think they started to take him over. I think he began to believe that he was, if not God, then very close to God.

Book Excerpts

Chapter 1 — Why Scientology

Scientology evolved in 1952 from L. Ron Hubbard’s DIANETICS (DIÂ. Greek – through; NOUS. Greek – mind, intellect), which had been started two years earlier with the publication of Hubbard’s Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health. This 400-page book outlined methods whereby the unqualified person could apply the techniques of Dianetics to resolve his problems, neuroses, psychosomatic ills, repressions, inhibitions and such. By comparison with the pessimism of mainstream psychology and psychotherapy, Hubbard described Dianetics as simple commonsense that invariably produced the desired results and by virtue of this optimism, Dianetics gained widespread, though short-lived, acceptance.

The newcomer to Scientology is attracted by the engineering-like practicality of the early stages of training and therapy. Good, solid stuff; applicable to everyday life; little hint of the wild non-proven and non-provable material to come.

On one hand Hubbard offers undoubted benefits in terms of increased awareness, mental calmness, a point to an otherwise often pointless existence. On the other, he demands strict adherence to an extraordinary set of beliefs, pseudo-science, opinions and folk-lore. He presents a comprehensible psycho-therapy that can certainly increase happiness and self-confidence. From this limited success, Hubbard predicts and promises the most astonishing further benefits. No superman in a pulp comic, no hero of space-opera, can equal the mental prowess of his Operating Thetan.

People who believe this sort of thing, and there are hundreds of thousands who do, will believe anything. Such a belief is not a rational thing. It is a need. L. Ron Hubbard has satisfied a need for a lot of people with his Dianetics and Scientology. They are grateful to be led. Grateful to be obedient. Their critical faculty is missing with regard to Hubbard.

Such people have always been at the core of the mass movements.

Chapter 2 — Assumptions

The major sources of basic assumptions in Dianetics and Scientology are the Axioms, Prelogics and Logics.

Hubbard has redefined in modern, scientific-sounding terms the ancient Hindu Vedanta concept of a soul or spirit that whilst appearing to inhabit the physical universe is of a distinctly separate order.

Scientology Axiom One is the assumption upon which the rest of the subject stands.

This static is called Theta (eighth letter of Greek alphabet – Ø). Individual units of Theta, such as people, are called Thetans. Theta could be regarded as God, Infinity, the Supreme Being.

The remaining forty-eight Scientology Axioms consist, in the main, of enlargements of the ways in which life handles itself in relation to the physical universe environment. It is apparent from all of the Axioms that Theta is at total cause over the universe. Only by a series of errors, probably deliberate at the outset but now accidental – since we have reduced our abilities to such a degree that “accidents” can occur – and over a vast span of time, have we been reduced to our present level of spiritual unawareness. From our original state of total awareness and power we must have postulated unknowingness for ourselves and have ever since been descending into greater unknowingness.

Scientology is not a science because its assumptions are stated as truth from the outset and no further inspection is permitted. It may be of worth but it is not a science.

Chapter 3 — The Thetan

The I, the Soul. the Élan Vital, the spirit, the motivation of life, life itself, this is the Thetan and the concept is not unique to Scientology. What is unique is the level of importance given to the Thetan. No Western religion or philosophy gives quite this degree of responsibility to the individual – the true, immortal, all-cause individual – that Scientology does.

There are powerful Thetans. Hubbard, obviously one, has described himself as a Meteor. My meetings with him bear this out an incredible dynamism, a disarming, magnetic and overwhelming personality.

There are also degraded Thetans.

These poor souls are probably well-intentioned and nice enough but they lack “Theta Energy” – whatever that might be – due to a mysterious and particularly revolting event on their Past Track, prior to this life, that makes them pretty useless until they have had a lot of high-level Scientology therapy. Hubbard probably invented degraded Thetans, or sometimes “Weak Thetans”, to explain failed cases who yet kept trying.

*Every religion, political ideology and dictator, no matter how degrading, has propounded a theory “for the good of Mankind”. All Scientologists believe and utter with the gleaming eyes of the proselytiser: “Scientology is the only thing that can save Mankind.”

Having seen, worked with and intimately known large numbers of Scientologists who have been cleared, the future proposed by Hubbard is at once ludicrous and terrifying. These people are no longer in control of their own minds. Their outlook and contact with reality is so limited as to be absurd. Yet they are convinced with a deep-down certainty that they are supermen. They are convinced as no other religious adherents can ever have been convinced of their infallibility.

They intend to “save the world from itself” whether the world wants to be saved or not.

The very thought of such a fate for the poor old world is horrifying.

Chapter 4 — The Mind

Plato introduced the idea of the mind as being completely separate from the physical body. Wundt, Freud and other psychologists continued this convenient concept. It has been the subject of massive tomes and has certainly become the dumping ground for all the perverse and inexplicable phenomena of human conduct.

None of the people who spoke of the mind bothered to explain where or what it was. With Dianetics and later with Scientology, there has been an attempt to state in more than meaningless abstractions the composite of the mind.

The mind exists as a measurable entity. It consists of energies and masses that are part of and obey the same laws as the physical universe. Under ideal conditions, it can also obey the laws of the Thetan. It is a halfway house between the Thetan and his body. It is at once coarser than the Thetan and finer than the gross composition of the brain. It occupies space but not necessarily in the brain or the body since it extends from the body for anything up to twenty-five feet. It is the property of the Thetan and not an extension of the body, since in his mind the Thetan stores all memories of his experiences. The energies of which the mind is composed are of the same family as 230-volt alternating current or sunlight but they are of such fine wavelength as to be unmeasurable at this time.

Four bands of mental energy have been discovered by Hubbard – Aesthetic, Analytical Thought, Emotion and Effort. Aesthetic wavelengths are estimated at 0.00000000000000000000000002 cm.; which is very fine indeed and certainly not measurable, with any accuracy, by normal means, (Hubbard does not specify how he came to measure it); Analytical Thought is given as 0.0000002 cm.; Emotion is given as 0.02 cm.; and Effort would appear to be either 0.0 cm. or Infinity, which is curious.

Hubbard’s view of the mind started off being not too different from the standard psychological view – he describes Dianetics as being only a psychotherapy. As Scientology has progressed, his view has changed very radically. Certainly the results obtained by the more standard and acceptable mental sciences – psycho-analysis, various other psycho-therapies and psychiatry – do not give much confidence as to the validity of their view of the mind.

Hubbard does not lack imagination but his claim to know the totality of the human mind and the position of sentient life in the entire universe would hold more validity if he explained HOW he had arrived at it.

Chapter 5 — Past Lives

“Have You Lived Before This Life?” asks the title of one of L. Ron Hubbard’s books.

The question is soon answered. From the “Case Histories” of approximately seventy students who investigated each other’s past lives during the six weeks of the 5th London Advanced Clinical Course of 1957, it is obvious that everyone has lived billions of lives before. Q.E.D.!

Q.E.D. – Quad erat demonstrandum – Nothing!

Those students were Scientologists who knew what was expected of them. I was one of them. I knew past lives to be a proven fact – Hubbard has so stated it. I knew that unless they could bring forth a past life with full recall, pain, emotion, full perceptions, the lot, they would be regarded as something less than real Scientologists.

No one even bothered to verify, or not, the recent past lives, which should be traceable from extant records. Hubbard had mentioned Zapp Guns, Tractor and Repeller Beams, Flying Saucers and Mother Ships and Galactic Empires in his lectures. His son, L. Ron Hubbard, Junior, nicknamed “Nibs” and no longer a Scientologist (rumour has it he is looking for a Flying Saucer that crashed in the Gulf of Mexico), was one of the instructors on this memorable course. When a student was having a lot of difficulty in making his story or, rather, Past Life gel, Nibs would helpfully fill in bits. Amazingly, many of the Past Lives sound like pulp comic “Flash Gordon meets The Brain from Galaxy X”, complete with Zapp Guns, et. al.

“Have You Lived Before This Life?” is palpable nonsense as far as a proof of Past Lives is concerned. It can probably be put down to seventy-odd vivid imaginations and the very prevalent habit on the part of Scientologists to “prove” Hubbard right. What would happen to them if they proved Hubbard wrong?

Chapter 6 — Auditing

Auditing, also known as Processing, is defined as: “The application of Scientology processes and procedures to someone by a trained auditor. The exact definition of auditing is: The action of asking a preclear a question (which he can understand and answer), getting an answer to that question and acknowledging him for that answer.” It is applied to individuals or groups by an Auditor – one who listens and computes.

The ultimate goal of Scientology is to produce a being with vastly improved capabilities far beyond anything previously envisaged as possible for human beings. To re-establish the Thetan in his rightful position of superiority and freedom and not dictated to by out-of-present-time conclusions.

The trap…

A revealing characteristic of Scientology which clouds any factual assessment is the attention and exaggeration placed upon the achievement of the Release. It is very sweet for a newly released preclear to be fully acknowledged for his achievement. For example: The instant the auditor has noted the floating needle on the E-meter, he says: “You have a floating needle, that’s the end of the auditing session. We will now go to the p.c. examiner and she will check it.” Off they go, preclear smiling broadly. After the checks by the examiner, who lays it on heavily that the preclear has made a truly remarkable step forward on the Road to Total Freedom, they go on to the Department of Success. Here again, effusive congratulations and a request to write a success story. These stories are probably the most insidiously effective part of the conditioning of a Scientologist.

“I have finally discovered what I was doing wrong all my life and can say with conviction that never again will I make those mistakes. I am eternally grateful to my auditor, the staff of this great organisation and especially L. Ron Hubbard, who gave this priceless gift to all Mankind. Thank you Scientology.” Some success stories are even more gushing.

This is written within thirty minutes of the preclear hitting Release. If the following day he feels the same morbid way he has felt for years, it is very difficult to take back his success story. If he refuses to write the story, he is obviously not a Release and is either an Ethics case (see later) or needs more auditing.

Does not the promise of more of this stuff to come, more Releases, more of this grand feeling of belonging to the only movement for human betterment on earth, sound very like conditioning? Does not the writing of a Success Story sound like a gentle blackmail?

Does not this whole pattern smack of a precisely constructed trap? With one hand Scientology releases the preclear; with the other it traps him into loyalty and gratitude.

Chapter 7 — Training

Training in Scientology is a process of taking a frail human and turning him into a carbon-copy of Hubbard. It is not an attempt to instil clairvoyance or inspiration, more, it is a matter of duplicating the effects of these to produce the same end result. Personal quirks and interpretations are anathema to effective auditing. This is not an experimental pursuit in which the auditor is bravely plumbing the depths of his preclear’s mental and spiritual being. Auditing is like flying a jet, you do it precisely or you are in trouble!

Scientology is in the direct tradition of Buddhism, that is, it follows most closely the teachings of Gautama Siddhartha, 563-483 B.C., the Buddha, in placing responsibility for the achievement of Nirvana (Clear) directly on the shoulders of the individual. Lao-tse, 604-531 B.C., Chinese philosopher and founder of Taoism, is also regarded as someone who really knew the answers to many of the reasons for life and people.

Hubbard makes it clear that he is in the tradition of these great teachers but has the advantage of technological orientation, such as tape-recordings, books, E-meters and mass communication, to preserve the purity of his wisdom and make it universally known. It is from this base that his conceit and intolerance of any other viewpoint stem.

Chapter 8 — Clear

There have been various definitions for the state of Clear.

Originally, the individual cleared by Dianetic processing was free of engramic influences. His I.Q. was markedly raised, psychosomatic illnesses cured, neuroses and psychoses removed, survival potential over a broad spectrum was high and he had total recall of the whole of his life with full perception.

Later, with the advent of Scientology, three states of Clear were envisaged.

“A MEST Clear … would be a body-plus-Thetan relatively aberrated, probably above 4.0 on the Tone Scale; a THETA Clear is one who can leave his body at will, and he probably would be, although not necessarily so, much lower on the Tone Scale than a MEST Clear; and a Cleared Theta Clear would have all major incidents in his time track removed, as well as have complete freedom from his physical body.”

Since about 1965, the definition has been stabilised at: “A being who is at knowing and willing cause over mental matter, energy, space and time, as regards the first dynamic (survival for self).”

In other words, the individual has gained, through processing, control of his own mind. It no longer affects him reactively, sub- or un-consciously. The Clear does not necessarily know all parts of his mind but those areas which previously could effect him have had this power removed.

Certainly a wondrous state. The Yogis and Zen-Buddhists have always aimed for something like this. If they achieve their Nirvana (presumably, in Scientology terms, a Thetan, uninfluenced by the Reactive Mind) in forty years of hard contemplation and mind-training and one thing and another, they count themselves very lucky. Scientology can clear someone in about six months of full-time work and for about £1,500. That’s known as real progress!

When an individual is checked out Clear, he is given a beautifully printed certificate that states he is Clear number -. He is permitted to wear a Sterling silver bracelet, on the disc of which is engraved, “John P. Smith – Clear No.: 22578” or whatever, and he is acknowledged.

Chapter 9 — Operating Thetan

An OT VIII is a superman. More than a superman, really, he is a God. He is: “… total cause over matter, energy, space, time and thought …” and if that is not a God, a total cause over the physical universe, a being who can gaily hurl galaxies about, then there is something badly amiss somewhere.

Hubbard is, of course, head God and as head God, he takes a paternalistic responsibility for all the others. He tells them what to do, and generally makes their life very easy by merely demanding total obedience. By the time a person reaches OT VIII, he is so indoctrinated with the idea he is a God (having paid £3,500, is one of the most convincing arguments) that obedience to L. Ron Hubbard’s wishes is not difficult. Mostly, his instructions are dished out in a similar vein to that of the quotation given earlier in this chapter. A light, we’re-all-buddies-in-this-together, incomprehensibly confused style. It is like pearls before Scientologists though. It “Communicates” to them. It is the Word of the Master. To them, it is not the deranged ravings of a paranoid megalomaniac. It is “dear old Ron communicating to us again.” If it were not so sad it would be hilarious.

Chapter 10 — Ethics

To build a new civilisation requires new laws.

Laws with a greater purpose than to maintain the status quo or to remove offenders from public view.

To get the best out of people, the new laws must be applied with scrupulous fairness. Justice must not only be done but must be seen to be done, as the saying goes. The new laws must protect the accused from injustice and must protect the new civilisation from wrongdoers.

The new laws must be so magnanimous, mighty, dealing with trivia and weighty problems with equal concern for the individual’s welfare, so as to eventually draw the masses, wide-eyed with joyous relief, towards them. They, the plain people, beset with exploitation, injustice, a crumbling civilisation headed by leaders incapable, incompetent and uncaring, will reject phoney standards and turn towards that which gives hope to the individual, puts decent, clean-living people where they belong – at the pinnacle of all that’s best – and puts justice where otherwise there is injustice.

Scientology Ethics; the very name stirs the heart, mind, soul and stomach with renewed hope. Man’s travails, indeed the travails of all beings, including purple-furred, seven-eyed, methane breathing, sexually divergent occupants of the Lesser Magellanic Cloud galaxy, are at an end. Every being in the cosmos now has a perfectly straightforward and essentially therapeutic code whereby he can order his life and his social systems.

For “advanced thinkers” and proponents of the “Permissive Society”, Scientology Ethics will come as something of a shock. As it is a mixture of Barry Goldwater’s Republicanism, Nazism, the less esoteric elements of Communism, the sickly sweetness of television Christianity and the philosophy of Soldier Termites, it does indeed have a uniquely embracing quality but, regrettably, it makes no allowance for people “to do their thing”. Still, life is like that. Thousands of people think for years to find a more satisfactory way of getting things done only to find they have wasted their time.

As may be imagined, Scientology Ethics consists to a great degree in a protection of Scientology.

L. Ron Hubbard, being the most important Scientologist, amongst his other remarkable qualifications, is protected most thoroughly. Mary Sue Hubbard, his present wife, comes next. Then his family, with the exception of his son by some other marriage – L. Ron (Nibs) Hubbard, Jnr., who is not spoken of nowadays. Then senior Scientologists and lesser and lesser Scientologists. The non-Scientology general public – “Wogs” – is not protected much at all. Ex-Scientologists, particularly those who take overtly reactive actions against Scientology, such as writing a book on it, are regarded as so far gone as to be a menace to the welfare of the human race. They must be quietened by intimidation, blackmail, physical threats, mental coercion (Hubbard has stated, as if invoking a Voodoo curse, that anyone rash enough to take action against Scientology is guaranteeing unto himself an incurable insanity followed by a painful death. Most ex-Scientologists I know appear in excellent physical shape and, if anything, somewhat saner. Nevertheless, just in case old Ron is right, I always keep in mind that these poor unfortunates may suddenly be possessed of an indescribably horrible insanity and may keel over shortly afterwards. It gives an air of excitement and delicious anticipation to meetings with ex-Scientologists).

This is the essence of the danger of Scientology. Its actions are determined solely and completely by one individual. It does not have the moderating influences of a democratic structure. The mind of Hubbard seems composed of genius and an insensate lust for power. This unique combination has brought distress to large numbers of people already and if the lust-for-power aspect should again grow in prominence and with the vastly greater wealth and influence that Scientology commands, all Hell could be let loose.

Chapter 11 — Promotion

 Be a Scientologist.”

“Buy a book.”

“Get trained.”

“Attend …”, “Join …”, “Go to …”, “Take …”, “Come to …”.

The advertising of Scientology services does not credit its audience with much intelligence.

“Don’t be reasonable”, Hubbard has said and the advertising is duly unreasonable.

Also it is often incomprehensible, facile, boring, boastful (always), tasteless, inaccurate, uninformative, absurd, hypocritical, pretentious, undiscerning, rude, sugary, ludicrous, self-centred, blatant, overdone, unimaginative, in fact, fairly typical of all advertising.

Scientology promotion is churned out in vast quantities.

Packaged truth; merchandised wisdom; hard sell sanity with a five per cent discount; sexy birds smiling invitingly over the top of an E-meter; “Ron’s Journal 1968” a brand leader; maximised shelf-space for Dianetics: the Modern Science of Mental Health; give away offers; special discounts for just YOU; “six months’ free membership for your name and address”; Extra; New; FREE; convenient; “try our free course”; money back guarantee; easy; bold type faces; screaming invitations; “Don’t give your prospect a choice – tell him!” – the whole gamut of modern marketing, salesmanship and advertising. To Hell with the customer: get his money.

Chapter 12 — The Organisations of Scientology

Hubbard has written millions of words on the subject of organisation. These have been in the form of HCO Policy Letters and have laid out in minute detail the function and purpose of every post, section, department, division and organisation in the international complex of Scientology organisations.

There is a Policy Letter called “The Three Basket System”, which makes it imperative that every staff member should have a “Beanstalk” of IN, PENDING and OUT baskets through which all communications are routed – there are only written communications. “If it isn’t written, it isn’t true.” At the other extreme, there is a Policy Letter called “The Purpose of Organisation”, which gives the philosophical basis upon which all Scientology organisations are structured. Rigid though the channels of communication may be, through and between Scientology organisations, Hubbard claims his Comm. System and Org. Board to be based upon ultimate truth. He has investigated the systems used by various Galactic Federations, Empires, and one thing and another, many of which have used the same political, social and governmental structure for billions of years, and has discovered the weaknesses which cause the eventual breakdown of the most complex and apparently long-lasting of these.

The Scientology organisational structure has improved upon any previously devised system. It therefore will last not for a few billion years but for eternity. It can be applied to a few individuals “trying to get the show on the road”, or to a vast planetary, galactic or presumably cosmos-wide population. These are exciting times we are living in!

Read the entire Chapter 12 for yourself to fully appreciate the thick web of steroid-injected bureaucratic nonsense that Hubbard created.


“Find out who you really are?”

That is what the Ethics Order told me to do.

“Vosper is to apply the Enemy formula which is: ‘Find out who you really are.'”

No good writing to Ken Urquhart and telling him, “Look, Ken, I’ve known you for years. You know who I am”.

Hubbard and all his peculiar extensions – Scientologists – wanted me to say, “I AM A SUPPRESSIVE PERSON!”

I wrote it down on a piece of paper, trying to get conviction into the very ink. I was sitting on a bench in Hyde Park, near Speaker’s Corner. People were walking up and down. They did not know there was an Enemy of all Mankind in their midst. I felt quite famous.

It was not sufficient to just write down, “I AM A SUPPRESSIVE PERSON” and send that in. Oh, no. These Scientologists want a total confession of all the dreadful things you have done in your life. If you know any, they want dreadful things from earlier lives too! They want you to completely degrade yourself. To admit you are one of the Enemies of Mankind.

I started writing. I’ve done lots of really lousy things. I cheated at school once. I thought L. Ron Hubbard was an idiot, often. I got angry with my children, sometimes. When I was seven, I had fired an arrow at a cat.

There were dozens of things like this and when I read it over, I realised what a tame life I had led. I hadn’t made any mountains of skulls like Attila the Hun, not even a small pile of skulls. When I was twelve I had smoked some cigarettes that had been stolen by another boy. Maybe that was “Receiving Stolen Property”.

I felt much better when I had finished my long list. I really was not an Enemy of Mankind.

Should I send it in? Or was it all such complete nonsense that I would be wiser to ignore the Scientologists? But the children; what would they think of me if I didn’t try to get back into Scientology? I posted it to Ken Urquhart.

Over the following six weeks, I sent in another five of these applications of the Enemy Formula. I got more and more imaginative every time. In the end I was able to picture myself as one of the most evil beings ever to have inhabited the physical universe. It did not do any good though.

I kept getting extraordinary letters from Peter Warren, telling me to “Find out who you really are”. They were not going to up-grade me. But, by now, I really did not want them to.

In the end I decided that I would not act out this idiocy any longer and went back to see my children.